Universal Truths.

Kimtastic sent this to me. Classic stuff.

Universal Truths:


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history when you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Was learning cursive really necessary?

6. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

11. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

12. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Light than Kay.

13. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text message.

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.